Welcome to the Bloggery

General jackassery and blog nonsense by the otherwise adorable Amy Elizabeth Burns

Flash Fiction: Nomophobia

Reuben was reading the newspaper and eating smoked salmon on Saltines when Helena got home. He didn’t look up when she slung her purse onto the kitchen table and said, “Did you know that the guy who designed the Pringles can is actually buried in a Pringles can?” Still focused on an article about a […]

The Dillydoun Review

As some of you already know, I am the Managing Editor of The Dillydoun Review. TDR publishes online, monthly issues and TDR Daily. Stay tuned for the details of our upcoming literary contest and the new year will bring print anthologies! New issues released the middle-ish of each month. Until then, please feel free to […]

Flash Fiction Writing Prompt #1

Sometimes, when I’m feeling anxious or in need of a distraction, I search for a quick writing prompt and just let the words fly with no thought, no planning. Here is the result: Flash Fiction Writing Prompt #1 A straight-A high school student falls in love with the troll who lives in her locker. Heavy […]

It’s a Southern Thing, Great Place to Visit

7 Southern dishes that probably shouldn’t be food I’ve got a new list on It’s a Southern Thing which is a fantastic new website which celebrates all things Southern. The list, of course, is just for fun! Most of these things are on my list of favorites but, come on, you’ve got to admit – […]

Crazy as a Soup Sandwich: One

Birmingham Man Released from Hospital After Drinking Unsweet Tea at Southside Restaurant A Birmingham man was released from St. Vincent’s Hospital this morning after a touch-and-go night in the Emergency Room. Rapid responders were called to the scene of a Southside restaurant Thursday evening where Lee Hightower and his wife, Geneva, had planned to enjoy […]

Drive Like Your Kids Live Here

Before I get too far into this, let me state for the record: I do not have children, biological or otherwise. There were a few vague months spent in Mississippi back in the mid-90s which I can’t account for with complete accuracy. But I’m pretty sure that I didn’t give birth during that time. I […]

Message in a Bottle

Sometimes when I don’t know what to write, I take out a book that someone bought me for Christmas which has emblazoned upon the cover: 500 Writing Prompts. The book has a prompt or two on each page and then some lines upon which you are supposed to write your response. I have never made […]

Banana Handling Class

The three of us sat around the kitchen table doing our best to ignore each other when Eliot came hobbling in and said, “I’m going to be teaching a banana handling class today.” My sister, who usually doesn’t say anything until she’s finished her first cup of morning coffee, looked at her middle son and, […]

Georgie and the Watermelon

Not even Georgie the Springer Spaniel can resist a cold slice of watermelon on a hot Alabama day. Bless his heart.

Do You Want to Read an Honest and Occasionally Funny Novel About a Recovering Drug Addict?

A Review by Rebecca Monks Honest and occasionally hilarious novel about a recovering drug addict ‘I first realized I loved Jack the day he drowned,’ begins Amy Burns’ novel, setting the reader up for a wistful tale on the pitfalls of a modern, melancholic romance. Don’t buy into it. There’s nothing romantic about this darkly […]

Whitman, Alabama

Has anyone ever asked you if you like poetry? I’m curious because whenever someone asks me that question, I think to myself – a better question is: can you appreciate poetry? Liking poetry is fine. But simply liking poetry will leave you skating along the surface. Learn to appreciate it and you will learn to […]

Just Put My Hair Anywhere…

Something happened to my hair yesterday. It wasn’t good. And, it happened on one of those days that I had to, not only leave the house but, see another person who fully intended to see me back. To make matters worse, we’d never met before which meant that I had to seem as close to […]

Small Press Picks, Beth Castrodale, and a Review of my Novel…

Thanks to Beth Castrodale at Small Press Picks for the following review of Leaving is My Colour. From Small Press Picks: “I never thought I’d be the kind of person who could say things like, ‘Yes, I’ve spent a little time in jail,’ or, ‘If you count second cousins then, yeah, I’ve had sex with […]

The Thing About Falling in Love and Racehorses

The first time I fell in love, I was taking a second swing at kindergarten. The Board of Education had birthday-based rules and, because mine fell late in the calendar year, they decided that I wasn’t emotionally mature enough to move along to first grade. Guess I showed them. Donald was his name. He wore […]

Daily Mail Review of Leaving is My Colour

Demented narrator Rachel’s a kind of dysfunctional debutante. The daughter of vast wealth, she’s got through four marriages, endless drugs, breakdowns, therapy and rehab, all in search of the one thing money can’t buy. This is the love of her childhood sweetheart Jack, who’s with someone else and not interested. The book’s a crazy mixed […]

For Book’s Sake Podcast: Women in Horror and Amy Burns

Now, my writing doesn’t fall into the horror genre but those of you who know me will have a wonderful time cracking jokes about ME being a horror show after you find out that the folks at For Book’s Sake were kind enough to include me on their podcast #104 Women in Horror / Amy Burns. […]

Leaving is My Colour

My first novel was published 16 February. Here are a few of the reviews thus far. Demented narrator Rachel’s a kind of dysfunctional debutante. The daughter of vast wealth, she’s got through four marriages, endless drugs, breakdowns, therapy and rehab, all in search of the one thing money can’t buy. This is the love of […]

Everything’s Gonna Be Fine

Just a few words and a video that I put together. I’ve been experimenting with such things. It’s fun playing. I hope to sit down one day and actually do a video with INTENT, if you know what I mean. Everything now is a learning process and I find myself playing with various tools and […]

Glasgow: Wandering Around Kelvingrove Museum

This magnificent beast is the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. Sure, the photograph is really just an app’ed snapshot from my iPhone but, hand-to-heart, it didn’t look much different in person. So imagine spring, 2013… My vantage point was a spot in Kelvingrove Park where I was also watching my springer spaniel get up to springer spaniel […]

Book Review: The Exit, By Helen Fitzgerald

If psychological thrillers are your thing and you haven’t read work by Australian author Helen Fitzgerald then get your skates on. You can start with The Cry (Faber & Faber, 2013) which Fitzgerald perfectly tunes, throttling the narrative forward at a steady pace until the reader is racing along at a fevered pitch, white-knuckled and […]

Galveston Do You Read Me? I Said, Big Popcorn!

I went to Galveston, Texas with my sister this weekend. We stayed at the Hotel Galvez which is a beautiful, historic building on the seawall. Built in 1911, the Hotel Galvez is a blend of Mission Revival and Spanish Revival that has hosted the likes of Franklin D. Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Lyndon B. Johnson, General […]

Trying to make feeling felt…

I think it ought to be said that a fiction writer can try anything. He has tried a great deal but presumably, not everything. The possibilities are endless because the stirring of the imagination never rests, and because we can never stop trying to make feeling felt. Eudora Welty

Get me a ticket on an aeroplane…

I fly across the Atlantic today. I arrived in the UK in 2006 and settled in Scotland January, 2007 when I began studies at the University of Glasgow. It’s a sad departure for me but I shall try to look at it as an adventure and I will certainly look forward to the time I can return to […]

Pre-Christmas Lunch

Today was Christmas-Lunch-with-Friends. We went to visit Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall at River Cottage (Canteen). Hugh wasn’t there but I won’t hold that against him. I wore clean clothes, brushed my teeth, thought about washing my hair but things can go so wrong with my hair; best not to tempt fate. And, anyway, I’ve got this thing […]

Mothecombe Beach

The other Saturday we went to a place called Mothecombe Beach. It was one of those experiences that made me stop and realize: I’m smack dab in the middle of perfection. Kurt Vonnegut beat me to it when he said, “If this ain’t nice, I don’t know what is.” I suppose the magic was heightened […]